lucleon: to all my followers
to all my followers
laughingstation: More FUNNY POST here!
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"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to..."
"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It's about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she'll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn't masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don't put anything in her butthole you wouldn't want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it's kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn't mean she has, so don't you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don't worry about gettin' yours, you're a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she's gettin' hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You've got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad."
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Big Poppa E., "How To Make Love" (via loweryourstandards)
(S) Awesome!
(via marriedexplorers)
linkinspirit: alliseeistokuandimgoingmad: Mustache-dog is best...
Mustache-dog is best dog
THIS IS THE FANCIEST OF ALL DOGS
saythankyoumaster: Now you're just playing with it, Gaby.
Now you're just playing with it, Gaby.
buzzfeedanimals: Is there anything sweeter than a dog with a...
Is there anything sweeter than a dog with a mustache?
Probably not.
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superwomaniac: Julie is one of the most powerful Absolute Woman...
Julie is one of the most powerful Absolute Woman in the world with a body able to lift or press 98.000 tons !
holdyourorgasm: getsuswet: ♥ twisted papichulo239: letsjustbed...
♥ twisted
This is incredible… her tits.. her face.. her glasses.. the little smirk she gives the camera… the dirty talk. I need to find a girl like this.
wow I want sum
via-enchanted: xo
xo
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eyes1976: #RT #asseveryday #babes #boobs #sex #porn #blowjob...
#RT #asseveryday #babes #boobs #sex #porn #blowjob Reblog , RT! & Share !
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hollablackgurrl: morgan freeman is so badass we seem to forget that morgan is a name for an 8 year...
morgan freeman is so badass we seem to forget that morgan is a name for an 8 year old little girl
"Millions of people have decided not to be sensitive. They have grown thick skins around themselves..."
"Millions of people have decided not to be sensitive. They have grown thick skins around themselves just to avoid being hurt by anybody. But it is at great cost. Nobody can hurt them, but nobody can make them happy either."- Osho (via color-blind)
yourkinddom: daddysaysimaprincess: rape—princess: - Good...
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Good girl. Just like that.
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